So, my summer break started. And I think it's a good time to recollect my thoughts. I spent last summer for expedition. I hope I will spend this summer for "myself". I really wanna find out what I really want. I am 21 now, but still I think I'm yet to think like a 21. Honestly, I have not really find my dreams yet, means I do not know where shall I go after I graduate (though passing my 2nd year's final still an unknown...=P).
Yes, I am greedy, there's so many stuff I wanna do. Especially seeing my friends' photos telling about them traveling around are so much fun and I wanna do that too so badly.
But...after reading that "dog" book, I realized I can be satisfied sometime just sit down under the blue sky, enjoy that afternoon with a cup of tea/coffee and a good book. I admit that I like to simplify complicating stuff and complicates simple stuff. It's all about the balance I'm looking in life. Looking for this balance could be hard sometimes but I believe it's there and we just need to find it. Still, it's because I'm greedy and wanna have a sip of every bits of life. My adaptability, is so high that sometimes I accept too much things and it's not good cause it will make you lose your own standing.
Lately.....I feel I am very far away from my friends, not the physical distance, the distance of our souls. Now, I really don't understand what are they thinking and not sure if I can see them again in the future or chat with them again. One of them is so cool that I admired her actually but now I feel like she's so far away from me now. One of them is so sweet that you can just talk with her anything like there's no barriers, but now I am worry it won't be the same again. And I miss DT so much, that i dreamt of them yesterday.
No matter how hard life become, I know, that there's always family backing me up. I love them. But I think I have taken them for granted sometimes and disappointed them so many times. It's not okay.....I know they have expectations for me, but I hope that they hope for my happiness and I pray hard for their happiness and health too. I know dad seldom tells me about his financial problem, but I know there's a problem, cause it shows in his face. He always says that I don not need to worry, liar...how can i not ?! But he loves me,I know. We know, same genes, we just don't know how to show it.
There's so many puzzles in my life waiting to be solved...but is there a solution ? I would say yes and no. It's a wisdom I need to learn how to grab it and let go at the right time, still learning anyway. And I'm not alone, thank god for that. I'm feeling gratitude to have family and great friends around, born in such a beautiful country but now well-governed, good food, good drinks, good books, wonderful beliefs.
Yes, thank You for that. It's life, Dino. It's amazing, especially seeing a new-born and how he grows and develop, it's just feel amazing. How we the homo sapiens, evolved, is already amazing itself. Sadly, some are going towards the dark age. Luckily, there ae always people who fights against that dark force.
Puzzles, are not puzzles, it's all about time,faith and effort.... when all come together as ONE.
" be the change that you want to see in the world"- Gandhi
